SHYRLYN :D
I am crazily doing stupid stuff.
I have high pitch laughter.
I can cry in 10sec.
I have a man character.
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一个不堪回首的过去
Saturday, November 14, 200912:37
Before i reached here, I thought i have a lot of thoughts that i really wished to post up. But the moment i reached here, all my thoughts are gone. I guess i'm just someone i don't like to share my feelings and i just didn't wanna face most reality. and for the past 2 years, i tried so hard, done my part to leave. I succeeded physically, but whats in my heart? i never dared to face it probably till last night? i always say its a silly, dumb, stupid to have thoughts like this. and apparently, i just don't wanna admit that i'm that dumb. i always thought i am strong and i can control my feelings. indeed, i can. Mind over heart. I try not to feel sad or feel hurt or rather have any special feelings towards you. i did that for the whole 2 years. I damn good right. but i can't deny the fact that i still miss you. only my pillow knows what happen every night? only my blanket knows where the tears goes? after today, i know everything have to be back to normal. back to days before yesterday. and everything should officially end. no matter how much i don't wish to say, your decision is still right. afterall, i don't regret all the decisions i made be it 2 years back, yesterday or now. |
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life and death
Friday, November 06, 200909:41
"Death rates from cancer continue to decrease because of prevention, early detection and treatment," Jemal added. "These have been decreasing from the early '90s and, really, because of this decrease, over half a million deaths from cancer have been avoided."
Jemal is first author ofCancer Statistics 2008, which is published in the March/April issue ofCA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians. The report has been an annual fixture since 1952. everybody understands this simple word - prevention. but how many of you really maintain a healthy lifestyle? but, in this urban city, how healthy can you be? most people slogged their life for money. what is money when theres no health? why is it that people in ancient times, people live to few hundred years? and now, the most 80years. i'm trying to say Earth is deteriorating and likewise for us who lives on it. and it'll continue to deteriorate. what if after another 5decade, human being can only live till 40years old. then you can imagine even faster pace life. and people would probably only sleep 4hours a day for more time. a millionaire with a psle cert, took over his dad fail business, carrying the will of fulfill his dad wishes. he went all out. as a boss of a spa and wellness company - Aspara, he took charge of all big and small things. he then gradually put all his life in it. with all his hard work and never give up attitude, he succeeded and Aspara is well known worlwide - japan and america are one of the most wellknown. after slogging all his life, being so successful and reputable, he is now diagnosed with 3rd stage lung cancer and left with the last 1year. the cancer cells already started to spread at this point of time. and he wasn't even aware of it. there is no physical syntoms for cancer. how scary. and it is already the third stage. HE IS MY UNCLE. My grandmother died of skin cancer and kidney failure but she was 88years old. another uncle of mine died of cancer too but at the age off 40 odds? one died of diabetes and kidney failure in 40odds as well. come on, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney failure has already become as common as catching flu. and i'm urging you all young people to take prevention NOW! wait, now. alot of people don't know how. no greasy and fried food. more veges, more fruits. drink more milk to take in more calcium. exercise 3 times a week. sleep 8hours a day. drink lots of water. try to drink tap water because too much of distilled water is bad for your body. this is the basic. consistency is what that matters. i know you'll be asking me things like "you sure you can do it?" no, i can't do it. there are always other ways to make it easier in this modern city if you don't mind spending $0.20 a day to maintain your health! or you rather fall sick first the pay your huge medical bills with medisave or some people will tell me they have lots of cash. then perhaps you must be someone who love to take pills alot and love to visit hospital often. i'm sure you know what i mean. but apparently people don't do anything about it. so what are you waiting for? |
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is to succeed
Wednesday, November 04, 200923:09
to succeed is to believe and desire. i thought i knew it long ago. well, apparently i'm still contemplating. that's why i am procrastinating. i know that you can do well in every market. its the matter of how well you do. and what is your desire for it. and i've decided to give myself at least 3 months to see how far i can go. without any source of support but i'm gonna do it. like i say, how well do you know before experiencing yourself? every environment is different because person's character differ. and you cannot be so unfair to people. Labels: motivation, work |
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又到深夜
03:02
每当一到深夜，我就会睡不着。 我种会觉得很愤怒、很难过。 但是我无发把它说出来。 只能躲在被窝里哭泣。 有时候，我真的很想逃避和放弃一切。 但是我却不甘心。 不甘心就这样放弃一切。 所以不管多辛苦，我都会坚持到底。 我也只能靠自己！
子瑞，你要加油！ (((: |
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i am learning not to be too emotional
Sunday, November 01, 200922:28
i shan't blog about halloween last night. it is basically. happening, eventful, frightening, tiring. i'm just feeling super fucked up now. i really hate people who assume things. i hate people who don't know anything then anyhow think, anyhow say. you can blame me for hiding things. but why i want to hide? because whenever i tell you, you spread around. not only that. when i tell you things, you only know how to disagree. and you don't even talk reasonably. i'm someone who i don't like to say things. but you're someone who say everything. how do you expect me to tell you. i definitely know that i am in the wrong in certain ways and reaction. but i'm reacting like this because of the way you respond. i'm so pissed yet i'm so sad. i'm so sad because i was so pissed but yet i refused to argue/quarrel with you. but you continued saying saying and saying. and the things i go through since young, you'll never understand. i never blame anyone. because this is my life. the only thing i can do is to look forward. and i will strive hard to prove all of you wrong. there's so many things i wished i could say. but i cannot. maybe if one fine day when i really cannot tolerate, i will burst out everything and throw you back with all the questions? but at the end of the day, i'll only be blamed. nobody will say is your fault. people will only say is my fault. so why do i bother saying out? |
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i just type what i recall
Friday, October 30, 200903:37
I am just feeling reluctant. to blog, to talk, to think, to eat, to sleep. hahahah! ok, sound super retarded. tomorrow is friday again. and another week past. i just received my timetable. and it super slack!!! i mean slack! I go to school 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. anybody has part time job to intro? i want long term ones. so i can work during school term. if not i'll be darn sian and darn broke. I was reading my past entries from previous years. and i thought, actually the stuff i used to blog are quite interesting. especially when it comes to criticizing people. i actually burst out laughing to myself at McDonald's. how retarded. i supposed to be criticizing people but the content is totally funny. these two days are just bored bored. interviews and trainings and whatever. I'm not sure whether this line suits me. i'm not sure whether i'm in the right path. i don't wanna waste time. but when i was about to give up, its just something that tell me give it a try. no harm anyway. but, with the time i could do other things right? no, more like i'll be sleeping at home. I tried sharing with 2 friends. but both discouraged me. and i'm not gonna reveal what i'm doing unless i achieve something. but apparently, i need alot of discernment in this. and most people are skeptical about this. ME TOO.... people only tell me not to waste time in this. yes, i do agree. but, there's alot of what ifs inside me. to find out the answer, i have to experience it myself. MYSELF. what people see or they say they see or they say their friends see or they say their friend say they see or their friend's friend see or their friend's friend say they see.. etc ... may not be true. so i shall go and sleep now and wake up earlier tomorrow go get down with it! |
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this is a stupid bored post
Tuesday, October 27, 200922:43
Life's getting more and more dull each day. and i've been sleeping most of the time. i sleep, wake up, eat, watch tv, play computer. and this routine continues. if this continues, life's gonna be dead. and i already feel like i'm dying. full of boredom, no existence, no fulfillment, no achievement, no satisfaction, no commitment. how possible can i live a life like this? i wonder how am i able to adapt to my upcoming hectic schedule i better enjoy now. hahahahaha! |
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God is still here with me (((:
Monday, October 26, 200903:22
sorry. know i say i will blog regularly but i didn't. its like, too long never blog and i don't really have the habit to even visit my blog. hahahaha! well, i shall post something which i long wanted to but had no courage to. its nearing nov and i have left church nearly a year. since then, i knew my life would be different and simplest thing like singing on stage which i used to think have became one of my fear. i became so unfamiliar and faithless in the things i used to have most confidence. and things in many areas just change. but i accepted this life because i made this decision. and this means i kind of feel how non-believers feel they meet christians. but i do feel unjustified for church and some good believers. when we meet some 'bad christian', we automatically relate them to church and i often hear people say "he still say he goes to church". so if this person is a muslim, do you say "he still say he goes to mosque?" how should i put it? we are human beings and we are imperfect. the character and personality of a person is determined by its background and most importantly himself. the church can teach the best values and principles but it still depend on the person himself whether he adopt them. and i hear people negative comments about christians and church. i do feel a little unjustified but i know certain things, we have to experience it before we understand it. and thats the reason why i refuse to argue or debate in such topic. but sometimes i don't understand why is it so unfair when is comes to church(not other religion). but to think about it, if the world can be fair, then Jesus won't be crucified on the cross. i'm not saying i'm perfect and i don't give negative comments about christians. i know and i do admit that i do gossip or even criticise them. but i'm against the person. or rather the particular issue that happened. i don't blame it on one's church or religion. what's more i understand so much about this religion. I believe in God because i have knowledge in it and i experienced it. Christianity is a relationship with God. It is not somebody physical that you can see nor touch. But you can feel and hear Him. throughout the pass one year, i know God is still with me, always reminding me that He's there in a more obvious and direct way than before. and i'm saying this because i experience it myself. its more true having someone by my side. of course, you can choose to believe someone who doesn't go to church. if you never been to church then how well do you know about them I certainly love God. miss His presence. and the reason why i refuse to go to church because probably i just know that i will stay there and don't bear to leave? then why leave? i have no idea. I'm just not ready to face all these yet. but i can only say, to stay with someone you love is easier or to leave someone you love is easier? maybe i'm just someone who can only learn the hard way? |
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HYTSGMH
Tuesday, October 20, 200922:55
Apparently, my 同类 said that I didn't post about this so i am doing it now. wahahah! But first of all i want to officially announce that 我和 Regina 是同类！ Ok, I know i'm very random and i said that many times right? Well, I'm just writing it here for people who don't know lor. hahahah! ok, whatever~ I know its crap. wahahaha Apparently, we were just bored and talking random stuffs and thats how the 同类 thing comes about. Actually, I'm waiting for the photos before i blog lar. nvm, i'll just blog first before i post photos. Hmm, where should i start! Well, its a super tired thing because regina and I planned almost everything. from deciding the dates, collecting songs, editing mmo, coordinating practices (I WILL DIE), emailing, forcing people to reply emails/mass sms, brainstorming the prizes, entertaining lame emails/pm/sms, arranging camera man and many other detailssssss. And we had real sleepless nights. As in, nights that we really couldn't sleep because of this. And have to bear with some people's hurtful words the day before. but still have to continue to do the wonderful gift for the person when we all were so affected. And I walked 4 places around serangoon that midnight just to buy glue but all never sell! ARGH!! hahahaha! But after so much hardwork, I'm happy with the results and it is indeed a success! Whoohoo~ Although the crowd its a little quiet, but I think all of us did well. i won't go into detail about the performance itself. i shall let the photos and videos do its job. I always believe you reap what you sow. and after so much hardwork. Our effort are not wasted. and I think we're more prepared now for other things! ps: I'm not against anyone here. I'm only against the specific thing you do. I don't bear grudges. (: Labels: hyts, Ocean Butterflies', singing |
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Shyrlyn is back!
Sunday, October 18, 200917:51
Finally, I'm back. Why? cause I'm too bored. so I wanna blog. Ok, first of all I think the event yesterday was great! I hope we'll have more events like this! YAY!! I was watching this Korean documentary about obsessed kids in korea. And they said, fat cells will only grow and will not die. So i was wondering how we burn fats? Many of us think that fats grow only at visible parts. But apparently, fats grow even in our body. When we exercise, the fats we burn are the fats right under our skin which is the visible parts. but the fats inside our body are the fats that we can't see and burn. The documentary talks about why korean kids a so fat. and result was kid watch tv too much, play computer too much. Hence, they exercise lesser and munch titbits more often. Before 20th century, there were alot of death due to lack of nutritient. but since 20th century, people suffer from illness due to obesity and gradually death. Are we having too good life? that people die of eating too much? Korean kids and in fact kids in many places are suffering from diseases due to obesity which only affected middle aged and above in the past but now, the kids are commonly affected. When i come about to know that i was a big baby that weigh 4kg (avg baby weigh 3.5kg), i thought i was lucky because i ran around at the playground everyday when i was young. and i was not overweight before even when i eat 5 meals a day. wahahaha! So what now? no. no more weight gaining plan. i shall proceed with my diet plan instead. i don't wanna suffer from such diseases when i die. WAHAHAHA! |
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fuckedup
Saturday, September 19, 200916:32
after so long i'm back here just to complain. I'm a girl. so i'm petty. I bear grudges. I remember little things you do. I remember bad things more than good things. I can choose to forget. but apparently, i chose to remember. because i feel so fucked up that i couldn't sleep last night! i'm not here to explain myself. because i've decided not to be over familiar with you. after all, i can't call you a friend. so, you can just think what you want to think. just assume whatever it is. I don't care what others think. I only care what my friends think. call me stubborn. call me childish. call me willful but i really hate people like you. so what if other people respect you? I don't! because you're fickle? can i say that? but, i just can't figure out what kind of person you are. sometimes you are like this. sometimes you are like that. so what if i want to take the longer route? people take different means to grow and learn. i live once and i do whatever i want. i don't care what the rule is. what kind of standard life people go through. i don't believe in structure and formula in life. if you take other people as example, i will only say thank goodness my parents don't plan for my life. and give me freedom to do whatever i want. at least i think i'm happier than other people's planned life. even if i meet alot of obstacles, i can blame no one but only be strong. you took someone who is totally different from me to compare. and that explains why we react differently from things. at least i love my family and appreciate them. at least they support me in whatever i want to do. at least i don't blame them about anything they do. even if i really don't like it. and this is the greatest happiness to me. [if i offended you, then i'm sorry. blame him for taking you as example. i'm just stating facts.] lets just remain our relationship like before and don't cross the line. even if what i think about you is wrong, so be it. and so be it if what you think about me is wrong. because i don't give a damn. |
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Last words ...
Monday, August 17, 200907:13
习惯一个人生活后，其实两个人时真的不习惯 既然如此，倒不如一个人更好。 就当作是我自私。 再见。 Anyway, I'm gonna officially let my blog die here to prevent people from lifting my words here. apparently, I don't post everything here. so don't assume things. Goodbye. Labels: announcement, bye |
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and she gets emotional again?
Saturday, August 08, 200903:59
I totally forgot. I'm totally uncertain again. and I'm feeling the coldness again. What's wrong with me? and everything changed again. back to square one. And I'm calling out again. Who's there? actually, didn't get what i wanted? but i'm puzzled again? tell me why. Perhaps, I should just feel contented. |
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Friday, August 07, 200915:08
Seems like my blog died on my 18th birthday. whahahah! |
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Happy Birthday to me
Friday, June 19, 200911:51
Today. is the day. I'm finally 18!!! wahahahahha! Happy Birthday to me. Every year, when it reach my birthday. I will say.. oh man. Time past really fast. Its alr half a year gone... After my birthday, its another half year for '09 to end. no more wasting time. Time to plan again. But today is the day! I'm looking forward for tonight. What will i become! wahahahha! Labels: birthday |
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whatever
Thursday, June 11, 200914:27
放弃是懦夫所为 我没想过放弃 只是我完全找不到推动力 而我也不知道从何时失去了这份热忱 这份热爱唱歌的热忱 我不想参加比赛 其实自从我决定离开他前，我已经知道会有这一天 我知道一切会便 当身边的人看到这些变化，当然就会觉得我便很多 从始至中我都没有对我做的决定后悔过 最多只是觉得亏欠他吧 但至少我现在比较轻松，比较快了 不会像以前好想让很多东西限制一样 可能你们会觉得我便很多 甚至是变坏 但我只想说你们认识我那段时间是我改过自新的时候 即使我怎样告诉你们我在那时之前是怎样的，你们也不会了解 我经历过的挫折和点点滴滴 是你们永远都不会体会到的 我不想用这个来做借口 我也不想显得很自我 I totally understand all your kind intentions but i seriously find it fake because you all only say it when somebody older initiate. and weird because if you don't agree with me from the beginning, why didn't you mention it earlier and make it seemed like you all are so ok with it? my change is not a just thing. didn't it happened long ago. or rather few months back? I appreciate the things you guys say and really wanting me to change. but seriously, I have toned down alot. I don't see why you guys didn't say a thing when I club and drink almost every night and only say it now? and yes, if you knew I smoke long ago, why didn't you say on the spot. yes, comparing to you all, I'm bad, rebellious 0r whatsoever. comparing myself now from the past. I'm normal. afterall you all just like to make remark without understanding the whole picture. and for that person who actually understand most of the picture. I'm so disappointed in you. Lastly, I want to emphasize I'm not posting this because I'm angry of the things you all say. Its why people follow crowd. Its why wait until now? Moreover, my change may be drastic to you guys because you have not seen the real me. there is alot of thing you guys can debate with me like, why was i able to change for the better that time but I don't wish to explain stuffs from other realm to you guys. because you have to experience it before you understand it. Afterall, I'm happy whith what I have now and I'm contented Labels: rants |
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The one I saw
Tuesday, June 02, 200910:48
On Sunday, met baby and char for dinner at bugis. So nice of baby to come from his work place which is at kallang.. all the way to my home which is at bt batok to fetch me for dinner just because i tell him i'm hungry. He's great. After dinner, baby have to rush back to work. so left char and i. we sit there crap abit then head to shop for baby's clothes. and I bought him 2 T from Praise, 1 Polo and Long sleeve from Topman. Price is reasonable. Then char and i began to crap again. until baby knock off. We went around looking for AndyLWL & gf because that Hotel 81 is so established that there re too many of them and we don't know where are they. Finally found them, head down to Cine as they are going for movie. Char, baby and I then went to bt timah.. expecting some place to chill but ended up at the prata place again. But now I know.. Liquids Cafe! hahaha. As usual, crap abit and went home. It was a horrible night because i only fell asleep at like 5am. Its like the old feeling and the old noises that made me think of so many things when my heart finally softens. When I realised and ask them to shut up because i want to sleep. I suddenly saw a bright light. so bright that i couldn't open my eyes. I closed them tight thinking that it would be darker. but it got brighter when my room was so dark. Then I saw a man wearing suit in his back view. I started asking in my mind. who are you. who are you. who are you. are you good or evil? That man then turned around to his side view but it was so bright that i couldn't see his face. I could only see moustache on his chin, his eyes was so bright and i couldn't see. Then sombody shouted Jesus and he's gone. Then it became dark as usual. I tried looking for him again. but I can't find him anymore. My room became quiet again and i fell asleep. |
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Birthday Celebrations
Monday, June 01, 200910:58
I've decided to throw a mini party at 7th Haven on my birthday. Please don't make it too big for me. wahahahah. Date: 19 June 2009, Friday Time: 6pm - 8pm Venue: Steamboat @ Bugis Whoever can make it. you can come at 7. But you got to eat faster. Time: 8pm - 3am Venue: Kampong Bahru, 7th Haven Approx: 20 people If you can't make it for steamboat. Please make sure you make it for this. Exclusively once a year for you to sabo me. To those people who got cream all over by me on/not on your birthday. I know you're waiting for this. But still, although shyrlyn is brave, courageously and manly. Please be lenient on me. You need to let me know how many of you are coming in order for me to make necessary preparations and resevations. Who's invited?: Ashton, Alicia, Betty, Regina, Royston, Yikang, Tiffany, Chun Rong, Elyn(if you can make it), Yan Ming, Yi Xuan, Daniel, Winson, Eliz (mia so long alr, better come!), Julio Char, Kexin, Queena, Seth Toh, Derek Lim, Andy LWL, Irene, Karen. Those who names stated here, you make sure you make it ok! If you think I've missed out your name, i give you permission to spam me, scold me. wahahah. So please make yourself free that day. Also, if you want to ask your partner, your friend or whoever to come along, all are welcomed. But you have to let me know earlier. if not i can't make reservations. Latest by 8 June 2009, next monday. Thanks greatly, Shyrlyn Labels: announcement, birthday |
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Birthday Resolution
Thursday, May 28, 200910:57
My birthday is less than one month's time. I'm excited but not so. because, Tiffany will be back for my birthday. yay!! hahahaha But not so excited because its my 18th birthday and i have no idea where should i celebrate. and i don't wish to invite the whole world(as in alllll my friends). Probably just a few close ones? hahahha! Give me some idea please. I thought of chalet. but, its too troublesome. and not many can make it. Club? same lor, not all my friends can go in. I'm thinking for BRR, Regina, Betty, char and Karen(you better come!). wahahaha. The only place that i think is the most suitable is 7th Haven. Daniel, if you happen to read this post, you should know what to do. wahhaahah! Or, shall we just go for buffet? wait, got 24hour buffet? How can i expect everyone's time to synchronise right? ahhhh! Somebody! anybody! Plan for me can! Anyway, once i planned everything. I'll post up. hahaha. Back to my birthday resolution. Ok, after my birthday. 1. Will get into a new working environment. So i don't know what will it be like. I want to learn more things there and strive better. 2. Take Driving License 3. Study next year. 4. Revive my interest and passion for singing. Tell me, I cannot be contented. because I have not achieved something. 5. Finance my(& his) money better 6. Have a healthier lifestyle  7. Canon Digital IXUS 990 IS  8. Juicy Couture Wristlet  9. Aldo Heels
10. Many many many many dresses, dresses, dresses. New Wardrobe! Labels: announcement, birthday |
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retard
Tuesday, May 26, 200913:52
Went blading on Sunday at East Coast. It was so crowded! One hour blade is enough. exhausted, sweaty sticky. But its fun! Seeing people fall down. *evil laughs* wahahaha! The blade was exceptionally heavy that left bruises on my legs. awwww. Proceeded to the beach and chilled, did stupid stuffs. hahaha. and home. Yesterday. Went IMM for dinner at pepper lunch. Proceeded to boat quay. Sometimes, I felt very insignificant. The fact is that I always put myself into other's shoes and think for them. But end up, no one actually spared a thought for me. I have strong belief and believe in whatever I do. As long as my conscience are clear, it doesn't matter how people look at me and think about me. But this time, I felt that my kind intentions were being jeopardise. I don't judge people. But one's impression in me will not be influenced by side talks. I observe little things myself. and I really see with my eyes. But apparently, most people are self centered and only think about themselves. I felt even more stupid when people interrogate me. Its like, yeah yeah. Who give me the rights and whatever shit. Why do I even have to answer you? Why don't you even look at the big picture and stop assuming things? It just seemed to me that you don't care how much mistakes you have done. But you just want to pin point at small things that others do. Hello, you heartbroken? Doesn't mean that you have the RIGHT to be emotional and unreasonable. Do you think you even have the RIGHT to scream and shout at people like mad dog? Well, you were not the only one who is sad, heartbroken. Why do I see pity party within oneself. I'm not saying that everything i say is accurate and definite. But please, it still doesn't mean that the whole world owes you. You yourself knows what went wrong the most. You should to face the reality. Apparently, you just wanted to vent your anger at someone. Lastly, I hope you truly understand who are the ones who treat you well. I hope no matter what you do in future, look at the bigger picture. Stop being a typical girl who only think about how people hurt you. Grow up and learn to think rationally and sensibly. Stop being so quick tempered (applies to myself too). Disclaimer: This is purely based on author's view. If anybody unhappy about this post, exit and don't read it. This place give me all the RIGHTS to write what I want. Thank you. |
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